With heavy hearts, we must report that David Wayne Lyman left this earthly realm. He had reached his expiry date and is now off to explore the universe unencumbered by his worn-out carcass. Decades ago he wrote his obituary, but unfortunately, due to circumstances beyond the control of anyone still living, it is missing. It was exceedingly clever and said precisely what he wanted it to. If we are looking for solace in this time of sadness, perhaps it can be found in the fact that he is not here to read this pitiful attempt in his honor. If he were to read it, no doubt, there would be a lot of eye-rolling involved and chastisements about the things that were omitted.

He was predeceased by his parents, Thomas “Wayne” and Joan Hoffman Lyman who welcomed David, their second son, into the family in 1951. His brother Richard had already been on the scene making inroads into their parents’ good graces for over two years when David made his appearance. He was then followed by Donald, who for the past two years has been saving him a spot in the great beyond. Kevin, Lisa, and Jason were the last to come along and complete the tribe. A pair of Australian Crested Doves, a pair of Turtledoves, and a pair of Diamond Doves also survive him.

He is probably best known for painting wildlife and Native Americans as well as some gruesome depictions of skulls and gore, most likely spurred by his love of all horror movies, no matter how awful, lame, or gruesome, claiming that the 1968 Night of the Living Dead is unrivaled in the genre.

With his dark hair and weathered skin, he was often mistaken for a Native American due to spending his days outdoors working his dream job at Jayne’s Orchard for most of his adult life. His penchant for wearing beads, leather, bones, and feathers, of course, reinforced the notion.

Adjectives to describe David are many. Perhaps not all would be suitable for print, and he would be ever so happy if they were included, but in the interest of decorum, we will attempt to keep this tribute inoffensive. He was intelligent, witty, creative, irreverent, dramatic, droll, mercurial, generous, talented, and a lover of all living things.

In 1971 David was drafted into the Army to serve in Vietnam. Anyone who knows David knows he would have been the last one you would have wanted fighting beside you. David armed himself with a paintbrush, a pen, a trowel, a rolling pin, quick wit, and a sharp tongue. Harming a human was unthinkable. Harming ANYTHING was unthinkable. To his dying day, he refused to even kill a spider or even allow anyone to sweep down their homes. The spiders are now going to have to relocate to more appropriate localities lest they be dispatched by someone less benevolent… which includes nearly everyone.

If you did not have the pleasure of knowing David, you’ve missed your chance. He was truly a unique, kind-hearted human being filled with gratitude even with all the adversity he faced. He always stopped at his parents’ wedding picture as he hobbled through his house with his cane. He would look at them, put his hand to his heart, and say, “Thank you.” When he struggled to get up out of a chair and succeed, he would say, “Thank you, Jeshua.” Whenever he saw a beautiful scene on television, he would exclaim, “Nice place!” Always filled with gratitude for life’s simple pleasures, no doubt, when he got a look at his new digs he declared, “NICE PLACE!”

Funeral services will be held Thursday March 27, 2025, at 11am from the Harding Litwin Funeral Home 123 W. Tioga St. Tunkhannock.  A viewing will held from 10am until the time of the services.  Interment will be private at the Lynn Cemetery.  For online condolences or directions visit www.aplitwinfuneralhomes.com